Ahh, the joys of being a freelance web designer culminates in the below instructions which when completed will bring in a few hundred bucks.

Unfortunately, I've lost all motivation for reading it since it's in all caps.

From: Unnamed Client
Date: Sun, Apr 13, 2008 at 12:51 PM
Subject: Re: logo red
To: Kevin Yu

TAKE OFF COURTHOUSE DIRECT, ADD ZILLOW.COM (PROPERTY VALUATION SITE),  ADD WEATHER.COM (WEATHER BY ZIP),   HARRIS COUNTY FLOOD DISTRICT  IS HCFCD.ORG   ( SITE NOT PULLING UP), ALSO TEXAS ASOCIATION OF APPRAISAL DISTRICTS  IS  TAAD.ORG/CAD_WEB_LINKS.HTML .     TRY TO SEE IF YOU MOVED THE WORDS ON HOME PAGE TO NEAR BOTTOM LEFT HAND CORNER AND ADDED LOGO NEAR TOP RIGHT CORNER IN THE SKY,HOW IT WOULD LOOK.  AS FOR THE COLOR OF RED I WOULD SAY GO WITH DARKER SHADE. SEE ASLO WHAT FORM PAGES LOOK LIKE SLIGHTLY DARKER. ADD YAHOO MAPS OR MAP QUEST. ADD CLOCK, ADJUST TERM AND CONDITIONS. kEVIN THATS ALL i CAN HINK OF THAT I WOLD LIKE TO SE DONE ON THIS PROJECT. I WILL PAY YOU ON MONDAY. SEND ME A EMAIL SO I CAN SEE WHICH FORMAT IS BETTER. WANT TO HAVE EVERYTHING COMPLETE AND RUNNING MONDAY.    THANKYOU.

WTF?

Does it seem like a grind all the time?

Thanks to VirusComix for the quick laugh...

The Corrupted Wish Game is an experiment where people post a wish, and somebody else puts up their own twisted viewpoint of what that wish would result in. The 2-liners are as entertaining as they are insightful - some of these viewpoints actually reflect what is true & accurate of society.

Ehdom: I wish I could fly.
mmmouthwash: wish granted, but now you can’t land.

mmmouthwash: I wish I could turn invisible.
Ehdom: Wish granted, but now you can’t see anything else while invisible.

Ehdom: I wish I could remember all of my dreams…
MisSarah: Wish granted, but now you can’t wake up.

MisSarah: I wish I could understand physics.
Anna: Wish granted, but now you can’t understand anything else.

StephanieK: I wish I was not afraid of anything.
nevaordinarie: Wish granted, now your dead…

nevaordinarie: I wish I could discover another world…
Ehdom: Wish granted, but there is nothing there, and you can’t get back.

Ehdom: I wish I could slow down time…
Luminara: Wish granted, but now you will age 10 times faster than everyone else.

VincentCharon: I wish I knew everything…
Richard A.: Wish granted, but now you can’t explain anything to others.

1. Prank can't become a financial burden - if screwing with a co-worker's computer causes him to draw resources from the IT department, the prank probably is getting old. Pranks can stretch into days, but the best pranks don't cost any money to execute, or to receive. It should be elaborate, but inexpensive. There's an inverse relationship between the props you get and the money spent to execute said prank.

2. There has to be an opportunity for a "get-back". In other words, you shouldn't prank an employee on his last day at the company! Or when you believe they have any insecurities about their job (they're facing possible layoff or suspension)

3. Everyone should get a good laugh from an office prank, even the prank-ee. A good prank is tastefully done, doesn't alienate anybody or make you think "I'm glad that wasn't me." Punking someone isn't just as good when they can't compliment you for your ingenius subterfuge capabilities.

4. Be a good sport about getting pranked, and use your nonchalance to disarm any paranoia about future pranks. The more you complain about getting pranked, the less of a chance you can pull a payback successfully, and the more satisfaction they get from punking you.

5. Get it on video, as long as you don't mind courting definite and swift retribution. Do a quick YouTube search to see if your prank has already been posted - Everyone has seen the prank where a website scares an employee out of a chair - But we can only watch it so many times.

Anyone know any good office pranks?

IKEA, known for its stylish but moderately priced furniture recently announced construction of living units dubbed BOKLOK, or "smart living." Units are slated for completion in April next month in the United Kingdom. These prefabricated homes speed up the construction to 16 weeks and cost around $260,000.

The homes are targeted for lower income households earning between £15,000 and £30,000 a year - Alan Prole, Live Smart @ Home Managing Director, said: “We are delighted to be the sole licensee for BoKlok in the UK and have now reached a momentous stage in the process with the land about to be acquired and a planning application being submitted for our proposed scheme in Gateshead.

One thing I am sure of, it was such blinding pain, I can say without a doubt I'll never play basketball in Reebok Classics again. What are the chances of both feet landing on someone else's? HINT: There's a better chance of catching a fish in your mouth on the lake.

For basic sprains, the American Orthopedic Association recommends R.I.C.E:

1. REST: Nope, came to work today....on crutches

2. ICE: Nope, too busy workin'

3. Compression: I'll try to immobilize my bad boys but can't nobody hold them down.

4. Elevate: Anybody have any suggestions on a job that lets me elevate my feet all day?

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Word of the day: conversation terrorist, n: Someone who rudely or unexpectedly takes over a conversation, without regard to whoever is presently speaking.

Ultimate Fighting Championship, a relatively new type of competition, blends martial arts fighting with brute force submission grappling. Fighters with backgrounds in Muy Thai, Jujitsu, Tae Kwon Do, and Kickboxing go head to head in an octagon-shaped ring overseen by judges. UFC has quickly replaced wrestling in popularity and ratings, but previously went underground due to its brutality. Stricter rules have made it more mainstream; Fouls include biting, eye gouging, and techniques such as hair pulling, headbutts and groin strikes .

Like UFC, sales is fighting with a trained technique. Certain styles work better in certain situations, and although there is a sales process, some unorthodox styles work well when the fight suits the individual (as far as talent, intangibles etc.)

A groin shot in sales would be like promising a certain metric, such as specific sales made, increase in revenue stream, or being vague about certain feature, selling point, or cost. Sales is a consultative process that finds the needs (or weaknesses) of the customer in order to achieve an objective, and each point scored during the process contributes to the win. Playing dirty may help you in the short run, but will cost you in the long run... You can't be as good of a salesman, or as effective a fighter.

A title match in UFC consists of 5 rounds of 5 minutes each, and the sales process can be broken down Intro, Discovery, Solution, Address Objections, Close.

1. Intro: Get past early gatekeepers and get into title fight

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2. Discovery: Find weaknesses, assess competition

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3. Solution: Attack, Don't stop until you have tried all angles

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4. Address Objections: Defend against attacks, here is where endurance training comes in handy - do not let opponent sway you or let you buy into objections!

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5. Close: Subdue, end fight with overwhelming victory. Make it a strong sale, or nothing at all

Any victory other than a decisive victory isn't worth celebrating. A heavily hyped fight between Josh Koscheck and Diego Sanchez began with a lot of trash-talking, and led up to a much anticipated UFC 69 in Houston. Although, Sanchez previously beat Diego in a split decision (not a decisive win), UFC 69 didn't prove to be much more interesting. Disappointingly, the match ended with Koscheck winning through unaggressive styles to the disapproval of fans who booed all 3 rounds.

Above: Diego Sanchez failing to put his money where his mouth is. He goes on to lose to Koscheck 30-27 by unanimous decision.

A client that's not a strong close may end up cancelling or otherwise be difficult to work with, Sales is about taking charge. If Sanchez would have stepped up to try to take Koscheck to the mat in response to Koscheck's long reach, things would be much different. Instead, he wimped out during the match, and even announced his retirement months later.  

For some reason, I can view my Gmail Inbox, but can't compose or read e-mails. The other half of the time, it doesn't load at all. Crap buckets indeed. This has been going on for some time now - it could not even save this post until I copy+pasted into Firefox. Must be a javascript issue preventing the view from changing.

According to Timothy Ferriss, you can do much less work and earn more than ever - that is, if you start embracing what he refers to as "lifestyle design."

4hrworkweek